Zambia World Wide

My since deceased best friend, who nevertheless shall remain nameless, was a great white hunter of all bundu fauna & also of Copperbelt maidens.

The latest hunting trip had been quite successful; a brace of green pigeon & various other edible birds in his tucker bag.

Since his current squeeze's house was on his return route, he decided to strut his hunting prowess to her.

This lovely maiden was a ballerina of note & as it happened, had just returned from her ballet class, resplendent in her unsullied white tutu.

My friend & his bun were duly ensconced on the couch of the her verandah & about to indulge in a bit of ‘vreyerey’ when her father decided to keep an eye on proceedings & parked himself opposite the couple, pretending to read the Sunday Times, that had just been delivered by local entrepreneur, Ross Goldring.

The father was acutely aware of the lad’s reputation as a de-flowering fiend & he resolved to keep things on a very short leash by his close presence! He never liked the guy anyway.

Proper decorum thus having been restored to the scene, my friend changed his tack & launched into a gesticulative & vocal narrative of his latest hunting expedition. He waved his new Brno .22 long rifle carelessly around the room as he described how he had stalked his quarry. The nervous father had the temerity to ask if the weapon was unloaded & the Don Juan exclaimed "But of course!" & demonstrated by pulling the trigger.

A loud bang & the bullet found its way thru the prima ballerina's voluptuous buttock, ricocheted against the floor, wall, & into the fibreboard ceiling. A lot of screaming, profanities & of course buckets of blood all over the lovely white tutu & floor.

My friend was a Boy Scout first aider & he knew a bit about control of bleeding via first aid pressure points. A pressure application point that immediately came to mind was the femoral artery, located in the crotch, but he remembered vividly that it was a delicate area, & could lead to legal action if this method was used indiscreetly. In any event, he did not get the opportunity to practice this very interesting bit of his training!

The enraged father punched him to the ground & rushed the daughter to the mine hospital.

Glad to say the projectile had passed thru the maximus glutinous without striking any bone, major artery or nerve.

A ’clean flesh wound’ as they say, & she was soon patched up & back to pirouetting.

It was however the termination of a "Fine Romance."